im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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