were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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