I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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