Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
