Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
