Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize