I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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