I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
