Dual....:-)
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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