You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
