it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
