Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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