i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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