yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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