I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
