I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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