haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
