YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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