I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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