so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
