Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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