either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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