Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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