He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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