I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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