Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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