just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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