i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
