I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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