Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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