is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
