I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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