the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
