I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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