when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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