Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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