you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
