I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
