I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
