i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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