Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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