Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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