Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
