his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize