the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Randomize
