fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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