That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize