About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
