I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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