No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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