Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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