I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
