Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
