He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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