wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
