Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Come share oat with me in your robe
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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