brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
