Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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